Mall Madness
by CraziiBananaz
Summary: Mulder and Scully experience an insane incident at the mall! What trouble will they run in to this time? Includes out of control kids! Total chaos! Please read and review...


Disclaimer: I don't own the X-Files. They belong to that dude, Chris Carter. All I own here is my freaky imagination.

Authors Notes: Okay, this is in response to the X-Files Challenge Club and that challenge thing that I brought up. Ever wonder what Mulder and Scully does in the Mall and what crazy incidents could they get themselves wrapped up in? Well, read this and find out…

By: CraziiBananaz

**Mall Madness**

Mulder drove around the mall parking lot hunting for a free parking space. He was getting more and more impatient by the second. He was about to scream.

Scully suddenly lit up and yelled, "Oh! Look over there! There's a parking space! Hurry go!"

He involuntarily stepped on the accelerator pedal and raced toward it, careful not to hit pedestrians. Then out of the blue, a minivan pulled up to it and swiftly entered, stealing Mulder's chance to get it.

"No! Not again!" His lip quivered and he banged his head on the steering wheel.

While Mulder was having a fit, Scully scouted the place for another free space; if it was possible. Then something caught her eye. A car was backing up, it's lights flashing. Scully's blue eyes widened and she shook Mulder to knock some sense into him.

"Mulder! There's a car getting out! Go over there before another car gets it!"

"Ah! Hallelujah, there's hope!" Mulder quickly grabbed his steering wheel and raced to it.

The sleek car left leaving a free space for Mulder and Scully at last! Another car was approaching it but Mulder honked at it which startled the driver and he finally parked his car feeling relieved.

"Finally. Damn, these people are like hungry lions when it comes to parking spaces."

"Yeah it's so exhausting to get one it's ridiculous." Scully came out of the passenger side, closed the door, and walked toward the mall with Mulder at her side.

They entered the mall relaxed now that the air conditioning has soothed them from the scorching hot weather outside. They walked around talking about how Skinner's bald head is so amazingly shiny.

"Yeah, and there was like a bunch of people in the room and I could still notice his shiny head! It's very blinding…" Mulder got cut off as he stared at a gorgeous blonde woman wearing a floral halter top and a mini skirt, which showed off her smooth legs. His eyes followed her when she passed by and he clumsily bumped into a muscular man. He glared at Mulder and puffed out his chest showing the cowering Mulder that he should not be messed with. Slowly backing away, Mulder quickly hid behind Scully.

"Smooth move, Mulder." Scully commented.

"Whatever Scully. If I had my gun and taser with me then he wouldn't mess with me." He said for an excuse. Scully just rolled her eyes in response.

About a half hour later, they left the food court feeling stuffed from all the pizza they ate.

"Hey Scully?"

"Yes Mulder?" Scully said even though she knew she wouldn't like the answer.

"Lets go to Build-A-Bear Workshop! It looks so cool and I want to get a bear!"

"Mulder, that's only made for entertaining kids to make them think that their best friend is a stuffed animal."

"Aw Scully. We all know that you're my best friend. I'm not going to replace you with an inanimate object!"

Scully scowled at him and slowly shook her head side to side.

"That's not what I meant. You're a grown man. Wouldn't you think that it would be strange for an adult to be getting excited over buying a stuffed animal?"

"I'm not that excited…" Mulder headed to Build-a-Bear workshop with Scully nagging behind him.

"Oh really? Then why do you look like you're about to pee in your pants?"

"Because…I need to go to the bathroom. But I can hold it." Mulder looked like a kid in a candy filled shop gazing over the sugar-filled sweet treats. Or in other words, he's as giddy as the other kids in Build-A-Bear workshop.

"Do you know how ridiculous you look?" Scully wished she could dissolve into the air and disappear .

Mulder skipped happily to where the un-stuffed animals are and went into deep thought.

"Hmm…which one should I get?"

Scully let out a sigh, " Don't tell me you're really serious into getting one?"

"Aw c'mon! Isn't this bear adorable? You'd have to be cold hearted to say no to this little guy…"

Just as she set her eyes on the soft honey colored bear, she felt her heart melt. Visions of her childhood started flashing back to her.

"Yeah, I guess it's cute. It's actually the most adorable bear I've seen in my life." she said softly staring into the bear's chocolate colored eyes. Her lips went into a heartfelt smile that Mulder has rarely seen in Scully.

"All right! You like Beary!" Mulder said with extreme happiness.

Scully snorted, "You're naming it Beary?"

Suddenly, an intense blinding light shone into Mulder's eyes as he glanced out the exit where it separated the shop from the Mall. As he squinted to see what made the glare, he saw a bald man's head shining with light.

"Hey Scully! Look over there it's Skinner! Hey Skinner!" Mulder pointed to the bald man who stood out the most in the crowds of people.

"What? Skinner? Really?" Scully stared at the man waving and approaching them.

"Hello Agent Mulder and Agent Scully." Skinner nodded like a bobblehead as he greeted both of them. Then he took on a puzzled expression.

"What brings you two to Build-A-Bear Workshop?" Skinner looked at the kids running around giggling.

Scully felt mortified. She didn't know what to say. Then she managed to stutter, "Uh Mulder wanted to buy a bear…" her jaw hung down speechless.

"Oh! This bear…it's for…my friend's kid." Mulder looked at the limping bear he's clutching.

Skinner smiled with doubt. "Ok then, lets stuff it up. You wouldn't give your friend a flat teddy bear would you?"

"No sir. Let's go to the stuffing machine."

The three of them walked to the cotton-filled machine and Mulder gave his un-stuffed bear to the machine attendant.

"Before I stuff your bear, would you like to buy a sound or music button so your bear could play it?" She said enthusiastically.

"Yeah sure." Mulder was looking at each of the buttons carefully and he kept pressing the 'Take Me Out To The Ballgame' repeatedly.

"Hey mister? Can you move over? I wanna press a button…" a little boy with chubby cheeks and dark brown hair came up to Mulder.

"Well, you'll have to wait little boy because I'm still choosing a button for _my_ bear. Uh…and it may take a while but you have to be patient." Mulder charmingly smiled at the pouting boy but the little kid kicked him in the shin.

"Ouch! Damn! Why'd you do that? Stop that or else…"

"Or else what?" The little boy's mother came up to him and looked at him

like he was a criminal.

Scully was feeling uncomfortable watching this scene unfold. She had to do something before it could get ugly.

"Um Ma'am? I'm so sorry. I'll make sure my friend never bothers you ever again. I'm really sorry for his behavior."

"Just don't go off threatening little innocent kids ever again. You're lucky I didn't call security. And stay away from my son." The woman took one last glance at the person she considers a monster and walked away. After she left Scully quickly turned to Mulder with a frown.

"What were you thinking? Yelling and threatening that little boy? How could you be so immature?" Scully's face turned red with anger; it looked like she blew a gasket.

"Hey that kid kicked me in the shin! Do you know how much that hurts?!" Mulder whined.

"Oh yeah, I forgot. That little boy gave you a boo-boo. Aw poor Mulder!" Scully felt so annoyed she wanted to strangle him.

"Scully, I don't have a 'boo-boo.' I'm just saying that he should be taught some proper manners. Man it's a good thing he didn't kick further up north..." Mulder hung his head and looked down now that he has lost some masculinity.

Mulder and Scully was distracted so much that that they forgot Skinner was there watching the intense argument and so was the rest of the people in Build-A-Bear Workshop. They smiled nervously at the staring crowd and pretended that everything was okay.

"Just stuff your bear." Scully whispered urgently to Mulder.

"Hold on! I want to make a sound button! Hey miss? I would like this one." he pointed to the 'make your own sound' button and she put on a fake smile and came up to him.

"Just say your _beary_ cool message into this and it will record what you said and make a button." she pointed to the built in microphone."

Mulder took in a deep breath and said into the device, "Fox Mulder's the bomb!" he chuckled.

Skinner's face scrunched up in confusion, "Why would you want to give your friend's kid a bear that says 'Fox Mulder's the bomb'?

"Because he's ridiculous." Scully shrugged her shoulders.

The attendant skipped to the stuffing machine and motioned for the three of them to follow her.

'These Build-A-Bear salespeople are so happy it's too weird' Mulder said in thought.

"All right! Here you will stuff your bear to make it soft and fluffy. Just put your bear there and step on the pedal."

Mulder did what he was told and excitedly stepped on the pedal. The snow-like cotton stuffed the bear at a steady pace.

"Hey look Scully! I'm giving birth to a bear!" The bear was getting bigger and bigger.

"Ok sir you can stop now. I think your bear is already full."

Mulder got off the pedal but the cotton kept flowing out. The pedal was jammed! He quickly took out his teddy bear but the cotton bursted out and sprayed all over him.

"Ah! What's going on?" Mulder shielded himself from the exploding cotton.

"Oh my god! The machine's going out of control!" The attendant banged on the cotton spraying machine and yelped for help.

Then it blew cotton at full power. Kids crowded around it laughing and squealing.

"It's snowing!" One of them yelled.

The parents were panicking and getting outraged. Gusts of cotton stuffing blew to Scully and Skinner. Skinner went into a frenzy crazily yelling, "Get it off! Ah! Get it off!"

Scully flapped her purse in front of her trying to defend herself from the pandemonium. She almost smacked a little girl accidently because it was impossible to see through the blanket of cotton.

Build-A-Bear Workshop is now snowed in with a blizzard of cotton everywhere. Bystanders from the mall watched as this continued. The mall police tried to squeeze through the puzzled and laughing crowd but only got themselves stuck in the mess also.

"Hey what's going on?" one of the mall cops yelled picking himself up after slipping on a mess of cotton.

Mulder squinted through the whirlwind of cotton. He saw Skinner having a seizure and noticed a kid crying and hanging on to his shaking leg. He yelled for Scully but just saw her rolling around on the ground with kids screaming and holding her down. It looked like she was playing in snow despite of her terrified and hysteric look and the wailing kids making a pile on top of her. Mulder bursted into tears laughing. Who knew they could look this ridiculous?

Even though this incident was hysterical, the 'snow machine' still needs to be stopped. Mulder tackled the machine but it still kept shooting tons of cotton at people. He tried to tackle it again but tripped on a kid laughing uncontrollably on the floor.

"Mulder?! Mulder?!" Scully struggled trying to breathe from the insane kids pulling her to the floor. She was about to get up when they threw cotton at her face and she fell back down.

"Scully are you okay?" Mulder felt sorry for Scully since all the kids are ganging up on her.

"Yeah I'm fine. They're just playing around." She sighed when a kid jumped on her.

"Just pull the plug Mulder."

"Wait what? I can't hear you Scully! It's too loud here!" It was impossible to hear through the giggles, screams, and cries of the children in Build-A-Bear Workshop. Especially when the music was blaring too loud and the cotton machine is creating chaos.

"I want my mommy!" he heard a boy cry while crawling through mountains of cotton.

Scully tried her best to crawl up to Mulder. She pushed stuff out of the way which made a bunch of build-a-bears fall on top of her. She accidently pushed Skinner's leg sending him toppling over Scully. His elbow struck Scully's stomach as he fell and she shrieked with pain.

"Oh my god! Sorry agent Scully!" Skinner gasped for breath. A cotton ball entered his gaping mouth and he spit it out sending it tumbling down Scully's cheek.

"Yuck! Why me?" Scully groaned and wiped the drool soaked cotton ball off her face.

Scully shoved Skinner off of her and looked up at Mulder.

"Mulder! Pull the plug!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. She was sick of all this crap.

"The plug? Oh all right!" Mulder looked behind the machine and quickly pulled the plug.

The machine squeaked to a complete stop. Everyone sighed at one and reunited with their family and friends once the cotton stuffing stopped flying. Parents ran to their children and comforted them from the horrific incident. Friends came up to each other confused and shocked talking about what just happened.

Mulder came out from behind the dastardly machine and held up the plug as if it was a trophy for his heroic act. Once people saw him, they cheered him for stopping the machine…Even though he caused the trouble in the first place.

Scully and Skinner came up to him totally exhausted. Scully picked cotton out of her tousled hair and Skinner brushed cotton off of his clothes.

"Man this shirt was new." Skinner muttered.

Mulder coughed up cotton balls out of his mouth in response. Then he came up to an annoyed saleslady.

"Can I buy my bear now?"

Mulder, Scully, and Skinner finally exited the mall after cleaning up the mountains of cotton, apologizing to the mall police, and the Build-A-Bear employees.

"I'll be more aware and careful when I see you guys in public from now on." Skinner said shaking his head.

"That was so embarrassing. What were you thinking Mulder? I'll be picking cotton out of my hair for days!"

Mulder just smirked, held out his new teddy bear, and pressed it's hand.

"Fox Mulder's the bomb! Fox Mulder's the bomb!" it said repeatedly.

The next day, they went to the bureau all clean from cotton. Mulder even found cotton in places to disturbing to mention.

As Mulder and Scully walked through the hallways, fellow agents smirked and went into nonstop laughter.

"What the heck is wrong with you Myers?" Scully was very annoyed.

"Take a look at the t.v. and see for yourself." Myers snorted.

Mulder and Scully peered into the room and stared at the television wide-eyed. There they were at the local news in Build-A-Bear Workshop fighting off flying cotton and rowdy kids.

"A source told us that these two people that caused the madness are, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully: special agents of the Federal Bureau of Investigation. According to a witness, the cotton machine, used for stuffing cotton into build-a-bears, went out of control when Fox Mulder stuffed his bear. And then they _also_ went out of control until Mr. Mulder became sane and pulled the plug, finally stopping the trouble. Fortunately, no one was hurt." the news reporter stated.

Their jaws hung down as they read the headlines flashing right in front of them: **Build-A-Bear Madness.**

The End

Lol! Hoped you liked it. I actually came up with the Build-A-Bear incident when I had to go with my little sister to Build-A-Bear Workshop because she kept begging, and begging to get one. Just like what Mulder did lol!

So please review! Your reviews mean so much to me…

I'm currently working on a karaoke fanfic called… "I Want To Believe…I Can Sing" (Thanks **Artemis Chick **for the title!)

So go check it out sometime…(When I'm done with it lol.)


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